Forgive and Forget?

So I’ve been a little MIA. My 5 month old daughter has had me more than busy the past few weeks. But I wanted to ask you guys a question:

Could you forgive your best friend for intentionally hurting you?

Back story:

My best friend of 15 years and I got into an argument. We hashed it out and ended up making up. But she said some things to intentionally hurt me and make me feel like a bad mother. She said she did and she’s the one who is always saying that moms need to build each other up. Would you be able to forgive her and go on as if she never said those things?

I’ve been dealing with this for months and I just don’t know what to do? Really looking for some insight and advice from anybody. I need to clear my mind from this.

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The Monster In Law

Has anyone had issues with their mother in law since having a baby? I know you have. I find myself reading and communicating with other moms on forums daily because apparently I’m not the only one having this issue. I don’t know if it’s because they are super over protective of their sons or if it’s because they’re used to being the moms and the ones in charge but it’s honestly starting to get to be a lot for me to handle. Probably harder than actually raising a baby.

I’m sick of all of the back handed complements and the “don’t you dare do that” or “never do this” comments. When she comes to our house or we go to hers with the baby she is absolutely degrading the entire time. Not only does she make me feel like I’m doing absolutely everything wrong, but apparently my daughter gets no physical traits from me. Her blonde hair is from her dad, her blue eyes are from HER, the way she sleeps is from HER, and just about everything about my child she got from HER.

My mom on the other hand, supports me in every way. She lifts me up and makes me feel like I’m doing an amazing job and offers suggestions if I ask. She would never do anything to overstep her boundaries or make me feel like absolute shit. My mom would also NEVER make my boyfriend (been together 14 years so it’s basically common law marriage at this point) feel the way that his mother makes me feel.

He has mentioned things to his mom and yet she refuses to change. She only lives 5 miles down the road from us and I make sure our daughter gets to see her, but it’s a lot less often than she sees my mom. I think about this daily because I do feel bad. I want his mom to watch her grow and enjoy our daughter but not while making me feel like shit. My boyfriend also doesn’t step up and say anything in the moment. Which is worse because I feel attacked and he won’t save me.

The main reason for this post is that I’m looking for help, answers, reassurance that I am NOT the only one. How do YOU handle your monster in law?

“Clean Enough” is Enough

As a new stay at home mom I find myself with a lot of mom guilt. My job is to stay at home, keep the house clean and of course keep the baby alive. I’ve decided to try this new thing called not giving a shit. There’s no reason to stress out if there’s a few dishes in the sink when I go to bed (like, is the house really going to collapse?), or if the trash didn’t get taken out that day, or if the recycling didn’t get bagged up. I do what I can do during the day all while enjoying my precious little girl. Getting those extra cuddles or few minutes of play time is something that I’ll never get back. I’m sick of thinking that it was more important to get all of this dishes done so I put her in her bouncer and losing time and memories.

I do what I can while she naps and that’s it. I’m not going to miss out on the early years because I want a spotless house. I will settle for clean enough.

She is my world and I want to treasure every minute of it.

15 Minute Mommy Makeup

I’m sure many of you moms have noticed how big the makeup industry is getting. Videos all over Facebook, YouTube and Instagram of women doing their makeup and looking fabulous. But why can’t us moms look like a boss too? Well, because we’re fucking tired. I used to spend an hour to do a full face every day before having a baby. That time is now limited to 15 minutes IF I’m lucky!!! So I decided to share the products I use and my daily routine for you.

1. It’s alllllll starts with a good foundation. Kinda like building a house. (She’s a brick…houuuuse):

I like to start with my face products. Currently I’m stuck on It Cosmetics for my face. Mainly because there’s built in skincare because y’all know keeping up with a skincare routine is rough on top of keeping the baby alive.

I always start with my foundation, in this case, The It Cosmetics CC+ Cream. I apply that all over my face with a damp beauty blender, follow up with their Bye Bye Under Eye concealer and top it off with their Powdered foundation for a little extra coverage. This you can do it about 5 minutes!!!

It Cosmetics

2. Give that face some shape and definition.

Once you have the foundation let’s make some of your features pop!!! Contour/Bronzing is a great way to bring your face back to life!!!! Use to carve out those cheekbones on your temples and to slim that jawline because you only have time to drink coffee and grab the occasional donut. I feel ya mama. Eating healthy….well eating anything is pretty much impossible.

If you don’t feel comfortable doing Contour or Bronzer, just pop on some blush to bring your face to life.

I choose to use Benefit Hoola Bronzer. It’s a nice cool tone that works most skin tones.

Hoola Bronzer

And BROWS!!!! Brows frame the face and just pull everything together. If you don’t have time to do anything. Just fill in those brows ladies!!!! It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Just a little.

It Cosmetics

IT Cosmetics makes a wonderful eyebrow pencil that is quick and has a built in spoolie on the end to make things quicker.

Framing your face: add another 5 minutes. We’re only up to 10!

3. Attract some attention to your eyelids as opposed to the bags underneath.

Eyeshadow!!!! Many women get intimidated by eyeshadow. But all you need is 2 colors to get a nice look that makes you look more out together. I choose to use matte shades but you can do shimmer or whatever you like. Buy using a light color all over you lid and a slightly darker one in the outer corner adds so much definition to your eyes. By using a light color towards the inner eye it keeps the eye open and makes you look more awake. Just remover to blend blend blend that out corner for a smooth transition.

The Kat Von D Shade and Light palette is my go to. There’s cool, warm and neutral shades and they’re all matte.

KVD Eyeshadow Palette

Now all you need to do is add liner if you choose to, or just curl those lashes and pop on some mascara!

My current mascara obsession is the It Cosmetics Super Hero mascara.

It Cosmetics

You can easily get your eyes done in another 5 minutes.

This is my typical every day makeup, well not every day. But if I leave the house and I want to look a little more alive and less like the walking dead. I don’t typically do a lip because I give my baby too many smooches. I also had an extra few minutes to throw on some winged liner. Which is RARE. But I have timed this and it only takes 15 minutes.

Who’s Got The Fire Stick Remote?

I don’t know about you? But I’ve always been fond of horror movies and raunchy comedies. But have you noticed once you have kids, you’ll never be able to watch want you want again? Not only because it’s smarter to get the dishes done, but because when the baby is not watching, the hubby is snoring through his favorite nature documentary and when you change the channel he jumps and says “I was watching that!”.

I’m not about plopping my daughter (who is now into baby shows) in front of the TV for amusement. But if it means that I can do a few things around the house, maybe have a cup of coffee or even take a shit. Why not?

I’m not just talking kid shows. You know? Like Spongebob or anything. I’m excited to watch all my favorite childhood cartoons with her. She’s at the baby baby shows phase. It’s absolutely adorable, but I find myself walking down the isles in the grocery store with a slight pep in my step while “baby shark do do do do do do do do” plays on repeat in my head.

What songs from your kids shows get stuck in YOUR head?

(We’re going on a trip, in our favorite rocket ship….)

A Short Introduction

Hello again,

Today I figured I’d share a little bit about myself so people know who they are following.

My name is Candace and I’m 27. I drink wine, cuss and I’m a makeup fanatic. I have been with my boyfriend John for 14 years (pretty much common law marriage at this point) and we have a beautiful 4 month old daughter named Allyson (Ally). For only 4 months old she’s a little fire cracker Aries and we already know we’re going to have our hands full.

I am currently a stay at home mom and loving every minute of it. Staying home with my baby all day is the best, although you never really get to leave work. We recently bought our first house on a lake in Northern New England, cough*middle of nowhere*cough. We are basically just your typical young family, but with a little more sass.

So go ahead Mama, tell me about yourself. As little or as much as you want. Brag about your kiddos. Share a pic if you want!💗 This blog is for us Mama’s. It’s a positive place for us to share, vent, and build each other up when we need it most.